Personal Essay 2nd Draft

Jake Pavlica
Composing the Self
Personal Essay 2nd Draft

Pursuing Imperfection

We are all sentient jigsaw puzzles. Human beings are the amalgam of bizarre shapes that they have amassed over years of experience. Through trials and tribulations we are all in search of finding all the pieces that will make us whole and fulfilled. I myself have been in pursuit of the illusive wholeness we all claw for since I can remember, but I have recently made it my goal to keep some pieces out of the equation.
I see this common theme infecting the minds of many members of my generation; this idea that we are already equipped to deal with the real world. I have never felt that I have the full arsenal of worlds knowledge at my disposal and for this I am actually grateful. I do not think it is enough to listen to someone talk about a world view from an objective standpoint. All and all we are all student of humanity so it does us no favors to get all of our information from one source and take it as fact, or our own opinion. Rather, we can focus the effort it takes to absorb the knowledge of the world and filter it into our everyday experience; seeking out new ideas and viewpoints so that we can better understand people and our own mind. If one is to maintain the ignorance that what they are told is the truth and the sum of all facts then we are diluting the human experience and creating a larger bubble of misinformation. We all have our own personal bubble that we run to in order to reassure ourselves that our world view is correct and in this we find a sense of self and reassurance. It is no doubt comforting to be confirmed in your beliefs and to hear that other have your opinions, but then what have you truly learned? You have discovered your own straight and your weakness. The strength that comes with this self realization makes you feel as if you stand high above those who feel differently and because of that you want them to try and climb up toy our level. Within us all is the craving for people to change for you, but this will not lead you to a wholeness. It is important to have the baseline of your beliefs; something that you can always return to in order to stay grounded, but it should not limit you from wanting to learn more.
In this day and age we are divided into teams. We allow our differences to define our relationships with one another rather than letting them be part of our intertwined experience. Our ability to converse about these different in culture has led to a world shut off from interaction for fear of being offensive or simply not knowing how to start the conversation. The key thing is that it should be a conversation. We should be willing to discuss and keep an open mind long enough to alert people of our inner realities without talking at them. Communication is a two way street and no one learns better than in a mutual interaction. In terms of political thought we subscribe to the what I call “us and them”. It is a simple theory which basically includes a persons own school of thought, as well as the community surrounding it, combating the “other” of that. We are so quick to label ourselves with this grand title that proves to others that we are apart of a group that thinks a certain way. Again, we return to seeking meaning in the definition of a group rather than searching for your own personalized views. Whoever does no agree with us if thrown into the “them” or “other” category and we develop an animosity toward them for not agreeing with us. To seek out imperfection is to accept the fact that each person is unique first and foremost. I truly do not believe that two people, much less a global network of people, all feel the exact same about every social idea. So why do we seek this group identity? Probably because it is safer to be animus in a mob than to be front and center in a school of though which only you may belong to. What happens when we group identity is a vicious cycle of generalization and vilifying. For the people who do not belong to our side we able them as savage or uncivilized to just plain stupid. There is this massive argument of free speech and thought but when it comes down to it we classify as either good or evil. We do away with the gray area ignored to further divid ourselves. We either belong to the blue team or the red team, the black team or the white team. Is it so impossible to exist in your own personalized area?
I emphasize this idea of achieving your own level of imperfection so that you remain uncomfortable and hungry. Once you settle into a lifestyle or frame of thinking you stifle yourself from growing as a person. To remain imperfect is to accept the fact that you can’t always change others but you can change yourself. You can discover new sides of the human experience by not attacking people just for their beliefs. Evil does exist in this world and if their actions are that of utter discriminatory, ignorant, villainy then by all means pick up the pitchforks and storm the castle. But if you feel your mind becoming agitated and hot because someone says something you don’t agree with, instead of running back to your safe bubble why not confront the person and ask why they feel that way. Why not discover something new about yourself, find some new boundary that you didn’t know you could cross.
The worst thing you can do for yourself is feel that you have reached your maximum potential; either in your own knowledge or your craft. Don’t seek the thing that will comfort you, seek the thing that will make you reconsider your definition of comfortable. There is an endless spectrum of colorful teams out there who have voices just like you that are unheard debase of the universal shouting match of our binary society. Challenge this framework by being a freelance agent of the human race and find your own solid ground.
Did that make any sense?